Blue Ribbon Day

Extreme sports can bring many kinds of adrenaline rushes.
Raising Sophia, in her infancy (especially) seemed a lot like what we imagine it was to participate in extreme sports. Although we were NOT extreme athletes. We learned to become ones, quickly.

 We had no choice, it was a matter of life or death, HERS!

That pump of adrenaline when you’re running a race but instead the race to the ER or scurring to meet the next specialist, like an athlete takes the next plunge.  The heightened feeling of pressure in your chest because your child is seizing and all you want is to pull her through.  On the brink of collapse because she is breaking the natural law of an appetite and is not eating enough to grow and we’re feeding her around the clock, 24/7!
NOT because you’re exhausted after breaking your latest record (or someone elses) because your exhausted after it seems futile and you’re faith and energy are running thin and doubt and sleep become your foes.
Not to mention all the negated, accomplished feeds! That was terrifyingly nerve wrecking.

Then she crossed a finish line, today! It was hers to cross, not ours.

I wish I could tell you I could see her cross the finish line triumphant, someday, but unfortunately, I lost sight of the waving ribbon a while back. Probably weeks after her diagnosis at 6 1/2 yrs old and learning... growing slowly (very) is part of her syndrome and we were participating in the wrong race category (measuring her success on typical childs growth chart) which only brought failures and many frustrations.  When we learned WHS had it’s own growth chart and when she was put in the correct category, she was winning. We thought that was the finish line. The blue ribbon was taken home that day. 
But...an unexpected adrenaline rush, this morning. The kind that brings extreme, perplexing laughter and unimaginable hope and joy.
She received a beautiful blue ribbon! She made 3rd percentile (in height) on the typical child’s growth chart!! What? That’s HUGE!
She did it! She’s won with God’s grace
Always has and because of God’s gift, HER (the real blue ribbon) I was reminded to keep cheering her on.
Every. Step. Of. The. Way.
And looking to Him and not at the waving blue ribbons at the finish line.
This kind of adrenaline rush is an extremely satisfying, intense feeling, of gratitude!
Thank you God and Congratulations Sophia!

Together

Sophia taught me this from the beginning of knowing her spirit in my womb.  Of course, then, we did everything...together.  Now it takes more purposeful focused attention to detail.  Here's my latest understanding "of getting" Phia, by listening to her words and by participating with her actions.

"Shopping, Mom? Go shop?"  She saw the shopping bag, next to her car seat, as she climbed in the car after school. I forgot I needed to return the items in the bag she just pointed out. She has a great way to help me accomplish my "to do" list.  Sure, why not, let's go get that done, I thought. I had a few other errands, so this is a perfect time to get that one accomplished, too.
Shoe shopping.  Always fun for, us, girls. Am I right?! Yet, because Sophia's feet are long and skinny we have but a few (if not just one pair) to choose from most of the time.  She can independently put on her own shoes and is very willing to do so and most of the time on the correct feet.  She loves this independence.  Often when I go to assist, she pushes me away and says, "me do."  And she does! :-)
What an achievement.  She is made of determination.
Most all her shoes are pull on or Velcro closure.  These type of shoes have helped her gain independence. (Independence is a rare milestone, so, it's automatically how I help her shop for her shoes, since her achievement.)  She showed me otherwise, this particular shopping day, Phia style! :-)

She tried on all the pairs that met my qualifications but she insisted on a cute pair of Chuck's, pink Chuck's.  I quickly dismissed her choice because of all the laces. She picked them up again and this time said, "Mom, let's do it!"

Then she tried putting them on and it was difficult for her but she never gave up. I bent down, next to her (to get it over with more than to really help her be successful) in trying on these shoes. She was proud when they fit and tried to tie them. She made knots, a lot of knots, that is how she tried to tie the laces. That's when I stopped to join her, really stopped to shop, for new shoes, together...I remembered how I love Chuck's and one of the first pair (fashion statement shoes) she wore (that I picked out) was a pair of high top Chuck's.
Pink to be exact.
Stopping to join her flooded my mind with this memory. It was a sweet memory, an easier time of shoe shopping, when not much criteria needed to be met, just fashion statement. I often miss her prompts of wants and needs by listening and focusing on only what is easy.  I sometimes fall into the habit of thinking easy is best but Phia showed me the deep lesson of understanding, relationship.
My being prone to the rut of easy, steals from my heart, her heart. It steals our relationship.
She has a way to capture my attention and brings understanding in relationship.
It takes relationship to get her, of course and put "to get her" together and awe, together is to get her!

Me and Phia, at sunset, together.