Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Friendship or Phriendship

With few words Phia communicates friendship.  A simple, "hello" to everyone she crosses paths with is, genuine, heartfelt.  She has deep indigo eyes that light your soul, if you look into them.

At the school Jog-a-thon, Phia's Aid told me that Phia has been a friend to this new student who was struggling and pointed him out.  I was expecting she would be pointing to a classmate but instead she pointed to a bigger boy (actually a young man) an eighth grader.  I remember, nervously laughing,  unsure how she could be a friend to an eighth grader.  I was told he was outside his classroom one day, having a hard time, when Phia passed by and she engaged with her usual joy and compassion simply saying, "hello." But then stopped and added, "are you o.k."  He looked into her eyes and lit right up, kinda smiled and said, "yeah, I'm o.k."
(It's not often the younger kids cross paths with the older kids. It does happen, occasionally, as this is a rural, county school.)

Since then she continues to greet him (like she does everyone) when they meet at school and he gravitates to her happiness.
Here's such an occasion..arriving one morning we saw him, with two other eighth graders, hoisting the flag outside the front of the school.   I recognized him from the Jog-a-thon.  Phia engaged with, "Morning!" He stopped and turned and said, "Good morning, Sophia!"  She then stopped and asked, "what are you doing" to which he said, "lifting the flag."
"Why?" came her next words.  He said, "Because we raise it everyday and today I get to do it."
"Oh, bye, " and off she went on her way to class. "Bye, Sophia, have a good day", were the words following us into the building.
I was impressed, kids his age often just pass by or ignore Sophia. He really cared and I chalked it up to being in this rural, all inclusive, class setting we are a part of.  That must be the reason. Yeah, that's it.

Then this very unexpected gift happened this morning.  Phia was stuffing her cubby with her coat,hat, lunch and backpack and then she grabbed a ring from her shelf and handed it to me and said, "Here."  I knew it wasn't hers so I replied, "Oh, honey, that isn't yours, I'll find out who it belongs to."  She said, "Mine, Mom" and I could tell she wanted me to take it home.
I showed it to her Aid.  She smiled and said, "Yes, that is a gift from her friend, you know...the eighth grader."  I became a little uncomfortable listening to Phia's Aid, she continued, "He said it doesn't fit him anymore and thought Sophia would like it.  I told him, I don't think it would fit Sophia, because she is so small, with which he responded, well maybe she could put it on a chain or something. I want her to have it." 
My thoughts...unreal, sweet, amazing, maybe even strange... that an eighth grader would be giving her a ring?

My heart became at ease when Phia's Aid helped me accept his offering, with these words,  "You should know he is from a very broken home, he has very little, almost nothing and gave this to Sophia, because she means a lot to him."
Swallowing hard, I left, clutching the ring in my hand. I walked to the car thinking, he looked into her indigo eyes and saw pools of joy and embraced her friendship.

Entirely on their own they each understand the privilege of sharing.  No one prompts them.  They give of themselves, first.  They truly are friends, navigating this life together.  Wow.

This comes on the day when Phia's has her first play-date, with a classmate, another friend.  This is the first of many, I can tell!

Friendship or Phriendship...Phia's Friends!

I brought the ring home to find a chain and took this pic, along with these notes from her classmates, (they tuck them in her backpack.) Smile. Almost everyday she has a new note.

 I'm collecting them all and I'm going to make a book.

I think I'll call it, PHRIENDSHIP.


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